Summary/High Level Thoughts
My (relatively) low rating isn't necessarily reflective of the principles in the book; those are obviously timeless and things everyone should know and practice. That, rather, is the reason for the relatively low rating.
I'd still recommend everyone read the book once - it's a quick read - but the principles inside won't likely modify your thinking to a great degree, or cause a large shift in your perspective.
Rather, they're things that should be obvious, and can be summarized fairly effectively as they are below.
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Making People Like You:
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “you’re wrong”.
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement - make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.